Monday, November 19, 2012

#HATEBOOK2013



I know I’m going to be redundant here and resurrect my inner Facebook Grinch because I have posted on this topic previously, but if I have to see one more person’s engagement ring on Facebook… or thirty-seven images of their expressionless newborn each day of the week…. or a wedding party/bridal shower/bachelorette party/engagement party/invitation card/anything pertaining to their upcoming wedding… or their child doing his/her “first” of everything (“This is Ava doing her first waving of her right hand wearing her first blue sweater and jeans combination ever”), I might throw myself out of the 10th floor of my office building.  

I think being a twenty-something or early-thirty-something makes you a part of the worst possible subset of Facebook’s audience because it is the stage of major life changes/career changes/family changes/perpetual bragging of all these changes. And because we are the first generation to have encountered this blasphemy, we were unfortunately, given no forewarning of the misery that was to come. As you all know, I [successfully] deactivated Facebook for several months, until I missed my best friend from college’s bachelorette party because the invite was via Facebook and her sister did not know how else to reach me. For that reason, I’m back on, but I ABSOLUTELY hate it. Like I said, I know I already made a whole post about why I hate Facebook, but the past few weeks have been especially awful. 

First off, the election coverage via Facebook was miserable. If I wanted to watch coverage of the election, I would watch it on television or check out updates on Twitter feeds; I have zero desire to read your uninformed and uneducated speculations.  Politics should not be a Facebook topic. If you want to talk about politics, start a blog and write your heart out about your political beliefs so that way I can choose to read it (but more than likely, choose not to read it). Instead, I now am forced to scan your status update on my newsfeed, realize I subsequently, like you much less, and therefore, have to delete you as a friend when you might, in fact, have been a perfectly good drinking buddy.

Secondly, Twinkies are getting way more publicity than even necessary. How many much more relevant companies have gone out of business since the recession began? Why do hundreds of people on my newsfeed even REMOTELY care about some concoction of an unequivocally unpopular processed food with a questionably too-long shelf life? Honestly, I don’t remember the last time I have even seen anyone purchase or eat a Twinkie. Maybe 1996? There’s a reason they are going out of business. Innovate or throw in the towel.

Thirdly, Sunday football commentating is also unnecessary. I understand you all are avid football fans and have fantasy sports teams and a significant $20 on the line for your team to win, but come on!! WHY must I read seventy-seven people describing the same exact situation all day on Sunday… and then again on Monday… and then again on Thursday, each of which I care NOTHING about?! Guys, if you think I’m being insensitive to your likes, how would you feel if every single female on your newsfeed commented on every single character’s actions on every single episode of Real Housewives… every single season. If I’m not mistaken, I’m pretty sure after a while, all of you would rather give yourself glaucoma than have to read one more idiotic opinion about who is fighting with who on the Real Housewives.  

Social media, but primarily, Facebook is being heavily abused by you, your family and your friends. It’s up to all of you to stop it. Let’s join together and resurrect a #KONY2012-esque movement for the new year. 

#HATEBOOK2013

2 comments:

  1. I couldn't have said this better myself! Thank you!!!

    The worst about Football is when I literally see people verbally abuse each other because their teams are rivals.. to the point where I don't even think they're friends anymore! It's sad that I even know them..

    I'm all for the movement & seriously if I become one of these people, you have full right to kick me!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm glad you enjoyed, Vee! And yes, you can NEVER become one of those people!!!

    ReplyDelete